Of Odd Dreams

I have been having these odd dreams lately. Wait, whose dreams are normal, right? Blah, I easily get distracted. I recently read an article about dreaming and it said we forget 95% of our dreams when we wake up. Although they are not related, most of the dream scenarios I remember actually have a theme. They are people, circumstances and things in the past that I considered or still consider important.

Sigmund Freud called dreams “the royal road to the unconscious.”After mentioning some of my dreams to a friend, I realized these are the things that I am too scared to let go of.  Mr. Freud couldn't get any more right! When people leave, circumstances change or things get lost, I tend to act as if I am completely fine with it. I choose not to dwell on the loss or to cry over spilled milk. I put on a brave face and move on, or at least try.

Maybe my dreams are telling me that there is nothing wrong with being vulnerable; that perhaps crying does not make me weak. In fact, I become stronger as I face the sad realities head on. Brushing them off can only cause haunting dreams, constant reminders that I can truly let go when there is acceptance that some people close to me did leave, a lot of pleasant circumstances in my life did change and the things I valued did get lost.

Now that I am having these overly dramatic realizations, I hope tonight I dream of positive things like a date with Blake Griffin, chocolate rain or having super powers. After all some studies say that you have the power to control your dreams. Wish me luck!

I captured the photo by accident and I just love the outcome!

Neekul has left the building.

I Do Them, Anyway

It has been a three-month hiatus. God, have I become lazy (lazier?)!

I keep on saying that my life has been the same but in reality, I have changed. I can't really pinpoint what it is because when I think about it, everything seems the same: work, relationships and routines. Even my weight is stuck in a rot.

I've been having this habit of trying to swear off certain toxic things. Unfortunately, I just keep on failing. I never seem to get the momentum to permanently say good bye to them. When I start believing that I am doing well, something just pulls me, and then I'm back to square one. Is the short-lived euphoria worth the feelings of regret, sleepless nights and I-should-have-resisted-the-temptation moments?

I know eating desserts make me fat, drinking coffee gives me an upset stomach, using hair creams causes skin breakouts, sleeping late worsens pimples, crochet cramming makes my hand swell, and saying yes will cause future sadness, but I do them, anyway.

So, what will I do next? I honestly have no idea. Get some sleep perhaps because it's past midnight? :p

Neekul has left the building.